Angry and sad and having trouble letting it go......

I came home from Chicago (which was fabulous!) to find my husband had been replaced by a grumpy unhappy man I did not recognize :( sometimes I hate what this job does to him and thus our family!

I was in such an excellent mood, happy after having a great night with Pauline at the show and we had a glass of champagne each yes they let you eat and drink in the theatre! anyways it was wonderful we had a great time and it ended Pauline's trip to London on a high note I think.

UNTIL WE CAME HOME..... and there sat Ben grumpy as can be and not very nice at all. I mean I get that it was a long day and I asked him one question and he barked at me and glared at me with that look I hate so much like I same some stupid child. It just makes me so angry and now I am all stirred up about it.

Of course he's gone to bed and we won't get a chance to talk about it. He is working this Saturday, Sunday being his only down day :( It just breaks my heart that we are here and still we hardly get a chance to be together.

There are times (like this one) when I would trade all the, pay, little additional perks and travel for him to have a 9-5 job in one city we would call home.

It doesn't even sound like he helped with Evelyn and let his dad do all the work, I hope that isn't true and he did play with her and help feed and put her to bed but I think grandpa did it.....

I am so pissed off I could not possibly sleep now!

And of course Mike & Pauline are leaving tomorrow morning at 7am... so the whole house will be up at 6am... I hate this feeling and being unable to resolve what is wrong.

It's lonely nights like this when I sit here crying my eyes out alone and blog to the world about my feelings because Ben is too tired and unavailable to deal with me and my silly tears. And when I see him Sunday I won't want to bring up any issues or problems in case it spoils our only day together as a family.
The pendulum has swung back the opposite way today after my great day on set with him Tuesday.

I haven't even told him I posted a notice for a babysitter or that I have lined up 6 girls to interview next week....
Gawd I just want to be home curled up in my own bed with my baby.